Sunday, January 11, 2009


我到底怎么了...为什么到现在还理不清自己...对他的感觉究竟是什么...很复杂...有时会很想念他...很想待在他身边...想跟他说话...但有时却又觉得他很烦...听见他的声音会不耐烦...为什么...搞不懂...自己对他的究竟还是不是爱...很混乱...不敢告诉他...我知道他听了会难过...我说不出口...跟他说分手时...心真的好痛...那是因为爱吗...还是只是习惯拥有...当失去时像若有所失...缺了一角...到底是什么...分不清了...该怎么做...我不想伤害任何人...更不想他伤心难过...该怎么做...我不想再这样下去...到底是为什么...若说爱他...有时又会禁不住地逃避他...不想跟他说话不想跟他接触...但若说不爱他...为何有时又会想念他...到底哪里出错了...越来越搞不懂自己了...怎么连自己的心都抓不住...好害怕...快要被自己的情绪和感情逼疯了...告诉我该怎么办...我知道问题在我身上...却解决不了...我不想再这样下去...谁可以告诉我...我真的真的很想逃避...我不想面对不想面对不想面对...啊啊啊啊~~~

Thursday, January 8, 2009

first wednesday of 2009

arhh~wateva....tired of the whole CO things...saturday still nid interview the juniors...gota sit beside her...haiiz so sienz...but our practice time cut down le...HM recieve complaints...so gud...actually is real...too much practice is not gud at all...in fact we r wasting time n energy...haiiz...but wat can we do?ppl juz dun wanna do their role properly...juz dun wanna practice...dun wanna put more effort to work on it...n they complaint about practice time...they dun have the right...its meaningless practising something for a long time n u dun get to know anything...things said for so many times...practice n practice for such a long time still there are errors...juz dunnoe wat they are thinking about...haiiz...suak le...yesterday i really vr vr angry...i scolded all the shou xi...n i feel so gud...their reports...its so hard juz to collect them all...we are same age...i dun wanna scold n talk to them like boss n workers...but c wat they have done...so dissapointed with them...juz two papers...so easy thing...they juz dun wanna hand in in time...thats our CO members attitude...i'll never understand their alien minds of thinking...never ever understand that...or maybe im the alien one...so toh hui talking to them...gota scold le oni can move...like puppet nia...somemore that stupid woman...angry about the tuning of orkestra...ok lo...tune for you...use up a lot of time...the whole afternoon din he zou...juz tuning n tuning...so guo ying...but i stand until wanna pengsan...so gai n so cham...haiiz...suak le la...everything is over...i mean that day is over...dun wanna think about it anymore...

Thursday, January 1, 2009

新的一年 为何要以这种方式祝贺 太残忍
世界果然现实 无情
没钱就不能生存 怪谁 无奈
这一年的开始 接下来 面对的是什么样的日子
为何踏实与努力 终得一事无成
为何老实忠厚 换来的却是不信任
被当成傻瓜一样利用
糟蹋人的自尊 人性何在 何谓天理
无奈人生如此悲哀
无奈世间人情淡薄
无奈被命运玩弄
自己是傻瓜